I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
