And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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