THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
