hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
