he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
