May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
