hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
