I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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