mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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