Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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