pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How does one acquire holy water?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
