I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
