sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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