remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
