Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she peed on how many people?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
