You really coming over, don't trick.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
