I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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