I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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