plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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