She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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