I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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