I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam