I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.