So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize