If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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