Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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