I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
