Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
