Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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