I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
