The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
