I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
