Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That was before I lit my hair on fire
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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