i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
