She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
