I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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