You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
