What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
