think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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