but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
