After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
