I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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