so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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