dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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