where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.