Your dad touched me again.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
