hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
