Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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