Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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