Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
