I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
