I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
