She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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