Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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