It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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