I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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