She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
