I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
