the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
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You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize