fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i already hear my dad disowning me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
